‘Is that good or bad?’, she asked, as though the answer determines everything. ‘Neither’, I replied. We were talking about body types, whether you are curvy or skinny, neither one is good or bad, as long as you are healthy. ‘It sure is hot today!’, I would remark. And she followed up with, ‘Is that good or bad?’, in a more bemused tone this time. Suddenly I thought back to how easy it was to dry out laundry on a hot sunny day (and the satisfaction of sun-dried clothes), but then I said, ‘Well if it’s too hot, the animals would be sleeping I guess,”. To which she giggled and proclaimed, ‘That’s not good!’.
So often, we see things as only two sides of the coins- either good or bad. This is good for you, that is bad for you. But sometimes, it helps to take things as it is, just as it comes. Being fat or thin does not necessarily change a big deal of your life- unless it causes issues with health and self-esteem. In actual fact, this is pretty much proven daily by my Dad. He goes for runs and walks, eats delicious mouth-watering food (with a mindful watch on the portion sometimes), and still glows with health and youthful energy and happiness, especially on a weekend morning.
As for myself, I finally have to stop taking my health for granted. I binge eat and cram food down without eating mindfully - and I’ve stop appreciating the value of a good workout and gotten really lazy. All this inactivity coupled with bouts of earaches and ringing, sent me into quite a chaotic mess. Most of the time I tried to remain calm and centred, the other times I would furiously tried to scratch my ears. The solace of having your sense of sound rushing back is quite one of pure joy. During my night walk when my ears suddenly popped again (after an agonising ear cleansing in the clinic), all forms of sound rushed back to me. With the cool crisp air, I keenly observed the sounds of nature after rain- the crickets singing, the birds chirping, someone’s dog barking, and the footsteps of other passerbys and my own.
To find your ikigai, one of the ways is to achieve a state of flow. To be so absorbed in a enjoyable and mildly challenging task that takes up all your concentration, and within which the journey or process of competing the activity itself is a treat for the mind to turn inwards and tune in to the task at hand- almost like a meditative state. To take things slowly and enjoy an activity that engages the senses- whether it be touch, taste, smell, sights, hearing- or all five senses- is truly awakening and quite nourishing to your well being.
On my ikigai board, I’ve listed socializing with good company as an activity that I like to do. While I love entertaining good friends, equally enjoyable and soothing was having an early start of the day with breakfast with my family, followed by buying groceries. To see the hustle and bustle of the market and people selling their fresh goods, or to walk in between the supermarket aisles and picking out our favourite products was something that I cherish that I was able to do with my family sometimes. While I enjoy being around people, solitary walks and looking around at the neighbourhood, plants and cute stray cats also bring some comfort to me.
I think my ikigai is a combination of doing all my favourite things at my own pace, without the pressures of life or hectic rush, by instead taking time to absorb the moments and do each activity- each action- meaningfully and mindfully.
Yes! I think I discovered my ikigai! Meaning and mindfulness! Instead of criticising, reflect on things . When you give meaning to something you’re doing, you breathe life into your action! Ikigai! It also sounds a lot like ikiru! To live!
“Living a long life has very little to do with medicine and surgery, which is where most of our health care spending goes. It has everything to do with moving, eating and meaning. All of which can be achieved at no cost to the community.
The secret to a long and happy life is not to live in the hope of a great life tomorrow. It is to live with intention today. What I love is that this is possible not only at the individual level, but entire communities can learn from it, as well.” - Marc, Founder of The Dandelion Project
