Begin Again

She's so inspirational because she's such an optimistic and positive person. I can always count on her music to help me get through. She says it perfectly in her songs, I love you Taylor.

I need to tell myself once more that, what's past is past.

no past, nowhere to hide
just close your eyes, everything will be alright come morning light

I saw three ships come sailing by

sailing by... sailing by.... 

I saw three ships come sailing by, 

on Christmas day in the morning. 

Now that I've got it ALL sorted out, I need to list them down. For memories' sake, or just for the record. Only these three ships had a certain degree of influence or impacted on my life, so here goes nothing, nothing at all but a tiny chronicle.

An unlucky-in-love girl, unfortunately I'm no Taylor Swift. I don't have her talent or beauty, I'm just plain, simple me. And I hope that's enough to make people happy. Don't ask of me what I can't give. Otherwise, I am very kind and nice and willing to take chances. Please appreciate me for who I am, thank you very much. And I will do what I can, only to make the world a better place:)

For fun, all encounters will be related to Taylor Swift song lyrics (either wholly or partly)! It's because Taylor Swift takes the cake of songwriting when it comes to feelings about love, boys and relationships!

ONE. Unrequited love. He's the guy, Drew from to Taylor's Teardrops On My Guitar. Like Tay Tay, I fell for him real hard but he found his Juliet right in front of my eyes. Like the real story of Drew, in which Drew eventually found out how Taylor felt (2 years later!!!) and asked her out (which she declined), I encouraged him and cheered him on when he expressed interest in dating the girl, got really heartbroken when they actually started dating seriously, and confessed my feelings before they finally became a real couple (went official). I knew that my words would have no effect on his feelings or their relationship, and I did that not because I wanted to stop them (it would have made no difference whatsoever), but because I just wanted him to remember me, wanted him to have an idea of how he had made my feel all this time. He gladly hear me out and didn't interrupt my whole confession, that was so nice of him. I was so happy, I was just thinking to myself, at least now he knows. He thanked me for being so nice and supportive. I played the good sport from the beginning to the end, sincerely, with no hard feelings for either him or his gf. There's a Chinese song lyric that says, 不是你的就不要免强. And I managed it. Some time later, we exchanged casual greetings again and funnily enough, it was as if I almost didn't know him anymore. He's the same person as before, but now I'm seeing him entirely differently. His smile doesn't send off fangirl-elation in my mind. Yay, I have successfully blew out this candle!

"Teardrops On My Guitar"

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see

That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about

And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh 'cause it's so damn funny 

And I can't even see anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,

I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

[Chorus:]

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?

And there he goes, so perfectly,

The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight, give him all her love

Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause

[Chorus]

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light

I'll put his picture down and maybe

Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart

He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

He's the time taken up, but there's never enough

And he's all that I need to fall into.

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

TWO. Double crosser. He's quite the popular, endearingly NICE guy, a real classy gentleman that everyone knows and loves and adores. Who would have thought that beneath all that admirable exterior lies something more... unpredictable. Even now, I still believe that no one could outright hate him. Even if you'd gotten betrayed by him, you would still automatically defend him and say, 'oh, I'm sure he's got his reasons.' Strange. Very few people could boast of such a charisma, but it was not his looks that got him spared and sung praises irregardless of what he does, it all boiled down to his personality- which is real character. Kind, generous, giving, helpful. I must have been REALLY unlucky. For I was the one and only girl that he hurt. I'm not sure why it turned out like that between us. It isn't exactly a Back-to-December tale either, because both of us appreciated what the other person were. If was more like a fallout, because he wasn't really that honest with me and he was dating someone else when he was hanging out with me. Reminiscent of the chorus of Forever and Always, because a double-crosser is someone who says something to your face, but are doing something entirely different behind your back. 

'cause I was there when you said forever and always

You didn't mean it baby, you said forever and always... yeah

White Horse tells the story very well and also Fifteen because I fell for the trap so easily as he was a guy so trustworthy, I drank up all his words and believed in the whole fairytale. 

"White Horse"
Say you're sorry

That face of an angel

Comes out just when you need it to

As I paced back and forth all this time

Cause I honestly believed in you

Holding on

The days drag on

Stupid girl,

I should have known, I should have known

[Chorus:]

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale,

I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,

Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,

I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,

Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

Maybe I was naïve,

Got lost in your eyes

And never really had a chance

My mistake, I didn't know to be in love

You had to fight to have the upper hand

I had so many dreams

About you and me

Happy endings

Now I know

[Chorus:]

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale,

I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,

Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,

I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,

Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

"Fifteen"

Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You're gonna believe them

And when you're fifteen

Feeling like there's nothing to figure out

Well count to ten, take it in

This is life before you know who you're gonna be

Fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted

Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You're gonna believe them

And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall

I've found time can heal most anything

And you just might find who you're supposed to be

I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

I never had a chance to be mad at him for what he did (toying with my emotions carelessly- whether intended or unintended), I didn't had a chance to talk it out and demand a face-to-face explanation. Come to think of it, he's quite a timid guy when it comes to confrontations. But then it didn't matter because I chose to believe the good in him. We always got on really well at talking, normal conversations, it's just quite sad if I let my feelings taint that great connection we had. So I chose to not take it personally, not making a fuss at all, not turning it into a big issue for him, but from then onwards I was more self-aware and more judgmental because I realize that blind trust can backfire when it comes to dating, as there are some guys who just love to take advantage of lonely women. I don't have a shred of hatred for him at all, instead I was glad that I had such a gentle awakening and sharpening of senses due to this small incident. I had him agree to pretend that nothing had happened in the past and for now, we're on friendly turf again. 

THREE. Fling. He is the most fluent in English compared to any other and therefore, FB chats with him are totally enjoyable and he gets everything I say at lightning-speed and usually has a good witty comeback to make as well. The excessive use of emoticons and text-based conversations isn't the most thrilling aspect you would want from a date, but apart from that, he really does nothing to get my heart racing in real life. I'm quite good at getting giggly at Skype conversations but in real life, keeping that up all the time but you are not feeling it from the bottom of your heart gets quite dull. I don't think he is a dull person per say, he is quite capable of being much more, I just don't really understand him that well as both of us has not seen each other in another light other than a potential gf/bf. Which is why I broke up with him because we were so incompatible (knowing that and pushing on, it just felt really forced).  

I think that he genuinely cares about me as a person (deduced from to the fact that he constantly tries to catch up with what's happening in my life), but he is continuously trying to fool the both of us into thinking that we are in love with each other. Which obviously isn't the case. I think it's just infatuation at its best. For us, it's akin to a Haylor relationship. We are not even friends to start with, just dating someone you come across as likeable. I think that it's not a fair thing to do... because all you're doing is hanging out with the guy/girl, just killing time until the right one comes along or until you get bored. At least I ended it early and didn't let it get to the 'I'm just using you for the time being' stage. It's slightly different from Haylor because unlike Taylor, I am not head over heels about him and we haven't really spent that much offline time together. Although I might regret it as a chance that I missed, I Knew You Were Trouble just describes what would have happen if you go into a relationship fully equipped with the knowledge that it isn't right for you- going in for it anyway, and ignoring the red flags- the result is heartbreak, and no, I have no need for that again. I'd rather not get (till you) put (me) down after he flew me to places I've never been, because that would mean that at one point, I was on top of the world, and (as Taylor says it), then suddenly the ceiling caves in, the other shoe drops, and the floor gives out underneath- and I would have cursed myself thinking I knew this was going to happen. Why did I agree? Thus, shame on me.

It's a fling alright, and it would be best to leave it at that since we've mended the riff after the breakup, attempting to do more would just be a disaster. 

"State of Grace"

We are alone with our changing minds
We fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds or fades in time

This is a state of grace
This is the worthwhile fight
Love is a ruthless game
Unless you play it good and right

I know that we crossed paths for a reason. Hopefully, future endeavours will fare better for me.

Happy feelings will attract happy circumstances!

I found a really good advice to keep in mind for when I'm in Australia!!

When you look at yourself and feel dissatisfaction about ANY part of you, you WILL continue to attract feelings of dissatisfaction.

-NO negative feelings about me, otherwise people will also feel the same negativity about myself!

Because the LAW OF ATTRACTION mirrors back to you exactly what you are feeling inside.
 
Therefore, be CONFIDENT about myself, from my looks to my abilities. So people will also believe in me or at least give me the benefit of the doubt:)

Dissatisfaction attracts more dissatisfaction!

FEEL really GOOD about you, you will attract more people! (due to your positive, confident, vibrant energy!)


When you look at yourself and feel dissatisfaction about any part of you, you will continue to attract feelings of dissatisfaction, because the law of attraction mirrors back to you exactly what you are feeling inside. Dissatisfaction attracts more dissatisfaction.
Feel really good about you, and you will attract more people, circumstances and events that will make you feel really good about you. From The Secret Daily Teachings by Rhonda Byrne

Happy 2013!!

Prologue

As I crack open my new 2013 VOIR Calendar, my family is waiting downstairs with a cup of green tea. We had just returned from the crazy on-street revelers celebration after watching Beauty and The Beast Musical at Sunway! It was jam-packed with people- all waiting for the right moment to go high!

As soon as the clock struck 12, the fireworks went off, and the impatient crowd finally let their hair down and showed their true colours! Foam sprayed in all directions (even passer-bys and strangers were not spared!), accompanied by the constant trumpeting of vuvuzuela horns and astonishing fireworks that went on for ages, making quite an impression.

We descended into the madness and chaos as we decided to join the celebration after watching the theater performance of Beauty and The Beast, which ended just 2 hours shy from midnight. 

Beauty and The Beast

This year marks the second time we've been to the musical. The first year we watched Aladdin, and just now, it was a showcase of Beauty and The Beast. But just as last year's highlight was a comedic figure- Genie, this year's highlight was Gaston, who, ironically turned out to be quite the star despite being a one-track mind villain in the orginal script. Gaston simply became the show's saving grace for his infectious good humour and charms despite not being the handsomest. Yes, so Gaston plays the good guy here, and the actor did his role justice. In fact, without him, the show wouldn't have made any impression on me, I'm afraid.

Belle was as dull as dishwater despite being a beauty. It's funny how I always seem to have an issue with the female lead in the theater musicals. Last year, Jasmine was fat (yes, I'm going to use the word 'fat'), it's not an insult, considering all the dancers were in better shape than Jasmine. And this time around, Belle was pretty, she had a decent voice, but oh, her character! They completely ruined her character. She was clueless as a lost lamb- a gentle sweetheart and nothing more. It just irks me that she doesn't stand up for herself as she did in the Disney animation. For one, she said yes to Gaston! She wasn't even hesitating, not the slightest!

Although it is a very bold decision, the choice to completely revamp the script isn't in everyone's best interests. Fine, make Gaston the good guy. Ok, make him likeable (completely lovable in my books). He won the crowd over with his rendition of Oppa Gangnam Style. But to make him and Belle's father turned into the clock and candle holder (respectively)!! Just unthinkable!

And I couldn't fathom why there were so many singing scenes that didn't quite do anything to move or add to the story. I mean, when Belle first got into the castle, it was totally unnecessary for her to sing that silly happy high-pitched song. Hey, the girl just stumbled into a scary-looking castle all alone, she couldn't be that thrilled. If they had not wasted time on that   solo for Belle, the Beauty and The Beast duet could have gone on longer. Mrs. Potts singing was absolutely perfect, so was Belle's yellow dress (an exact stunning replica from the film) but the romantic ballad could have gone on much longer, and they could have developed the most important scene- the ballroom dance! I felt the beginning of the duet was so exciting- I was sitting there, gasping, thinking 'oh, it's finally happening', but the magic only lasted for a short moment. They both dined in candlelight, and breezed through the dance. I could have sworn more air time was given to the witch than this (supposedly) most mesmerizing scene.

And, speaking of that, the witch. She was supposed to be a sorceress who teaches the Beast a lesson for being unkind and selfish. Since they needed a happy ending and made Gaston the good guy, the sorceress turned into a evil sneering witch who practically appears in a lot of the scenes to get the message across- I'm the bad character who curses at everyone! Beware of my almighty power! Well, not only did the Beast learnt nothing (no moral lessons for the Beast), Belle seems to fall in love with anyone easily and hmm, Gaston doesn't seem to care at all! Even though he says 'kill the beast!', the moment he turns into a candle holder, he agrees to help Beast break the spell.

So, Belle is neither the heroine since she didn't actually save her father, nor is she the damsel in distress since the Beast almost showed no sign of aggression around her- just the opposite- love at first sight with Belle! Belle says 'yes' to Gaston and says 'I love you' to the Beast. She's taking things too lightly for my liking. All the actors played their part well, but I happen to love Gaston's character as well as his actor because he worked his character so well! The forest scene, where the most lovely interaction with the audience happened wouldn't have been funny if Gaston was missing from the scene. And yes, it was very cute and thoughtful when they added 'lah' and when the ghost ran away from Gaston, it made me giggle!

The Beast... was okay I guess. As a prince, he was quite stunning in looks, very handsome, but still a very one-dimensional character. On the other hand, the Beast costume wasn't as beastly and horrible as I thought it would be, in fact, it was such a cute furry creature! It looked like a furry lion, with curly billy-goat horns and a disfigured (but not in an ugly way) face. I just thought it was funny how the Beast was so docile and tame compared to the Beast in the Disney animation. Come on, he even sung 'Go The Distance' and seemed quite heartbroken and lonely. Just no anger and aggression at all, really.

Maybe that was the reason why, between the nice, friendly and funny Gaston, and the fragile, gentle giant Beast, Belle was easily wooed and found no reason to reject this version of the guys. Just a theory. Okay, so while there were a lot of things I don't agree with in the revised script, the dancers were amazing, even giving the last batch a run for their money, in my opinion. Because this time, they performed a really high-level of stunts and pulled off difficult dance moves and positions with so much ease and grace. I still couldn't get over the spinning male ballet dancer who moved with such elegance and poise. The dancers really put on a good show and you could really tell they had been professionally trained in dance (or had proper professional coaching/practice), they executed each movement perfectly, beaming happily and were just very exciting to watch in general.

Watching Belle's character being transformed into a total opposite person was a pain. The real Belle would never have said 'yes' to Gaston, but then again, Gaston wasn't an arrogant prick in this version. And Gaston didn't really chased after Belle or courted her as strongly as he should have. It was more of Belle's father matchmaking the two youngsters who gamely agreed and played along; Gaston didn't even propose seriously, and Belle didn't even said a word about her future (the real Belle whined about her father's idea of marrying Gaston because marrying him would mean no future for her).

Musical focus

They only used 2 songs from the film, which were 'Be Our Guest' and 'Beauty and The Beast'. The theme song should have been given more emphasis, just as the ballroom dance- the prince should have had another round of dance with Belle again when he turned back into human- with the theme song playing in the background or sung by Mrs Potts (who had the most amazing voice nicely befitting for this song). The other thing is that I couldn't quite make out the lyrics when Belle was singing, they had plenty of scenes which required Belle to sing- the song was unfamiliar, and it just further pulled down the performance when you cannot hear what the lyrics are- Belle was pretty much mumbling her songs, I wanted to know what she felt, which she no doubt poured out in the inaudible lyrics of some unfamiliar pop song.

The Beast's singing was great and added some depth of character (which was sorely lacking in Belle's department since her songs does nothing for her). He sang 'Go The Distance' very well, of course we could all understand that he was talking about breaking boundaries, going beyond normal limits, which he had to learn in case he was going to break the spell himself.

Gaston's song, Oppa Gangnam Style was warmly received with outstanding cheers. It fitted his character perfectly as the carefree young gentleman who just wants to have his bit of fun! He was not as cruel or as self-fixated as the original Gaston, in fact he was quite playful and helpful! 

[Side note on Gaston:

Although he didn't have a clear intention (his intention of marrying Belle wasn't portrayed strongly enough), he was a brilliant gem and a quality entertainer- his antics totally got the crowd laughing along. Gaston also easily lets go of his love, just as Belle conveniently forgets that she is supposed to marry Gaston and falls head over heel for Beast who didn't go the full extend of demonstrating his love. Let's just say that Beast didn't really had to do much to win Belle over and vice versa. Love at first sight for the fated couple it is. I appreciate that as much as they switched things up with Belle and Gaston, there was a later scene which Belle (who had agreed to marry Gaston quite happily with zero reservations/hesitations) claimed that she's not really in love with Gaston, clarifying that 'I only like him, I don't love him!'. Their romance got nowhere since neither of them really worked to keep it anyway.]

The witch's singing was very effective and made her character more convincing and meaner. The actress did a good job at being a mad woman- crackling with insane laughter and a threatening demeanor. Her appearance was also very striking and portrayed her role strongly- an evil beauty. Thus, it was completely not a surprise to me when she performed her solo- Lady Gaga's Born This Way. I already thought that she looked like Lady Gaga in the first place when she took off the cloak and started cursing the prince dramatically- that was good drama right there; Lady Gaga would have approved of her extravagant wild look and just as bizzare behaviour. But it just got a little off when she and the fairy started acting like rivals, making frequent appearances as the narrators of the story. Fortunately, Fairy was not giving a singing scene (her constant rattling was only just bearable) and thus, the witch was given the spotlight to shine- she did a few astounding stunts, from trapezing to the stage to being lifted off the stage with her eloquent long dress bellowing below. It was a sight to behold as the dark purple fabric gently flapped in the wind while the witch continues singing and get lifted high in the air. 

Overview

Characters

The only real servant of the palace was Mrs Potts (the teacup), her costume was very pretty and subtle, only the sleeves resemble a teapot. While Chip makes a cameo appearance (and failed to look and sound adorable), the rest of the servants were missing (canine-like Rug was nowhere to be seen) and having the other two male leads cast as servants (clock and candle holder) just didn't seemed fair. Having Gaston playing the good guy was a nice surprise, his character was portrayed well and audiences loved him as the funny hero. It was a nice change. The evil sorceress was the perfect villain in place of Gaston; she added a nice touch of drama to the show- with her mean laughter, snarling threats, and flashing thunder (or sparks) accompanied by all her exits. Belle was not the headstrong, opinionated girl we know. Here, she is akin to a clueless teenager who complies easily with her father's wishes and acting very nonchalant about her future. [Side Note: She agreed to marry Gaston and moments later, said she is having some doubts because she only likes Gaston and 'is still waiting for a prince'. That is so not Belle.] The Beast didn't get punished and learn a lesson about love, here he merely turns into a Beast and gets rescued by Belle, giving the story a happy ending it needs. 

Other aspects

The sets (props) were phenomenal and astounding, it was very impressive how they manage such a quick change on set (considering the whole scenery was changed). No floating magic carpet here, but way to go for putting together a brilliant castle and all the other backgrounds which were just wonderful! Music was average, the singing was not bad, but the dancers really stood out- their dances were as eye-catching and as interesting as their costumes- the whole dance scenes from beginning to end was very captivating. As for the writing, although they changed a lot regarding the characters in the script, I had to say it wasn't as cheesy or corny as Aladdin. I wasn't cringing too much- Gaston was very enjoyable- he entertained us in earnest. They also had one very clever scene starring Gaston- it really helped the cast and audience to interact in a fun way! However, the romance/courting (both Belle-Gaston and Belle-Beast) was not solid enough and not believable but maybe it is not too much of a big deal since we all know who Belle ends up with. 

Since Beast didn't impart any moral values in this performance, the lesson was given by the other hero- Gaston. It was commendable that although Gaston yells 'kill the Beast' in the beginning (just like he did in the film), he had no problems with the Beast (when he turns into his servant, the candle holder!) and even agrees to helping him break the curse, and further letting Beast takes the girl he's supposed to marry! The realization that letting Beauty unite with Beast meant that "I won't get to have Belle as my wife now" did impact Gaston, but he didn't become a revengeful sore loser. A hearty sob and some whining, and there, Gaston is done with it! So, what is the moral lesson exactly? Learn to take defeat/failure and keep your head up and keep trying, I say! 

Epilogue

When watching a show (especially live performances), I always think 'Enjoy their effort (performance) first, criticize later'. This really helps me to get in the mood and appreciate the performance and not let my opinion get the better of me. Tonight was no different, it is good to adapt a laid-back approach and cut others some slack (especially if they have been doing their best). That said, I know I cannot be too lenient on myself as there are a lot of things that I have to slowly learn and improve on in order to be a better individual and perhaps generate a more positive impact in my life.