When I woke from the dream, I wasn't crying. My heart wasn't beating rapidly like how it would from a nightmare. I look at the face of my beloved husband, happy to know that we're still husband and wife in the alternate universe. As I am thinking that, the sunrise colours the cloud a tinge of orange, very gently, just a touch. I kept marvelling at the sunrise perfectly framing my husband, what a phenomenal nature's backdrop.
Now, I am sitting on the balcony, with the laptop propped up on the round glass table. Belly fills the seat opposite me, her curious glance (so adorable!) checking out the light morning traffic below as. A pet communicator once told us that Belly has a fondness for car watching. She hops off the chair now and continues sniffing the morning air, and doing what a cat does best- exploring, engaging its senses, and being in the present moment.
Now, back to this dream I had. It was a dream so real, that it felt again like I time travelled (like Michelle Yeoh). At the end of the dream, I was just ejected from the alternate universe and returned to this concsiousness, this body.
Scene 1 of the dream
Me and Liam were in our apartment. All nights were off and it was dark. The time was presumbly late at night. I was already dressed in home clothes, which meant a one piece dress without a bra, and sometimes without underwear. And suddenly, a man emerged soundlessly from the shadows, in our own home. I was startled by this, and hurried over to the intruder. How did he get in, as though it's magic? There were no sounds of doors being opened. Upon a closer look, the man is Elrick - one of Liam's friends. In the current reality where I am in, Elrick and Liam (together with Elrick's fiancee) are out for the Spiderman movie. Perhaps this is why he appeared in my dream (because my subconscious had his name saved in recent memory?)
Scene 1 of the dream
Me and Liam were in our apartment. All nights were off and it was dark. The time was presumbly late at night. I was already dressed in home clothes, which meant a one piece dress without a bra, and sometimes without underwear. And suddenly, a man emerged soundlessly from the shadows, in our own home. I was startled by this, and hurried over to the intruder. How did he get in, as though it's magic? There were no sounds of doors being opened. Upon a closer look, the man is Elrick - one of Liam's friends. In the current reality where I am in, Elrick and Liam (together with Elrick's fiancee) are out for the Spiderman movie. Perhaps this is why he appeared in my dream (because my subconscious had his name saved in recent memory?)
I started getting upset with Elrick and demanding that he leaves. He was sitting alone at our balcony at night, presumbly moping around. I did not inquire the reason he came to us (to our house). Perhaps also, because this is my dream, Liam doesn't get any lines or airtime in this scene, he doesn't make an appearance. He is the cameo and I'm still in main character mode. Since I don't have Liam's dialogue or impressions in this dream, all I can remember is myself. How I acted. I don't remember what I said.
The next thing that happened in the dream, I slapped Elrick several times across the face, my palms landing on his cheeks. He must have left after that. In the next scene that I remember, Liam speaks. He comes out to the balcony (it is day now), and erases white writing from the balcony glass doors. The white writing - written in chalk, said he has a migraine.
I was horrified and remorseful that I had striked a sick person and chased him out of our house. Someone who is actually ill and had come to perhaps seek refuge or comfort in our house. But I had, without giving him any respite or opportunity, mercilessly drove him out.
This scene ends and I can't recall anything else (not even the aftermath or Liam's reactions).
Scene 2 of the dream
The next consciousness I have in this alternate universe, I am alone. And in the streets. Am I homeless? Oh no, it seems to be so. There was something else I can't recall now, but it seemed to include Popo and Ee Ee. Something I said or did made them cut me off or not continue looking for me. As a result, I was unable to return to Puchong. Unless I knew my way and was able to walk there. And suddenly, stranded on my own without a single personal belonging, I was no one. A no one to nobody. I remembered just wondering around the streets, with had open stores (like in a Rundle Mall, Adelaide layout or those duty free Malaysia shops).
I knew immediately I was in an alternate universe then because of this. I had walked into a tech store (which had a layout similar to an Apple store). I made my way to the display corner and asked the salesperson what was on the counter. The attendent held up a device, that looked like a small remote controller, and I asked "What's that". He or she then exclaimed, it can keep "10 photos and 1 video!". "That's it?", I asked, shocked that that was all. The thumbdrive looking thing could only store 1 video, and that was the emphasis, which the salesperson pitched. And everyone was crowding around, marvelling at it. The price tag was either 7 hundred or 7 thousand. Wasn't sure if we were still using Malaysian currency. Technology, it seemed, had regressed. It was still in its infancy.
Scene 3 of the dream
Now, this is the climax portion of my dream. Knowing now that I am in an alternate universe and somehow either estranged, separated or disowned by my own family, I am entirely alone. I was outside the shop now, when I am conscious of myself, and I had befriended a girl. For some reason, when I dream, I cannot see strangers very well - I only know that there had been a person. The details, such as race, ethnicity, the language they spoke, or the exact words or dialogue, escapes me each time. This time, I remember a female, and spefically, this woman was a lesbian.
This scene was interrupted by the arrival of Elrick. He walked past me, and I recognised him immediately. (It wasn't clear if he came looking for me, or if he happened to just pass by me). Wiithin seconds, I was kneeling down, prostrated (head to the ground), bowing down in apology. (It seemed that this was the first time I am meeting him after the incident).
Wordlessly, he handed me a piece of paper. The paper was folded up. When I opened it, it was Liam's obituary. Liam leaves behind a wife and a daughter. All I remember was that I felt relief. Oh, we had a daughter., went my thoughts. My emotions were relief and maybe a bit of joy. It's like reading the ending of a novel or watching an anime finale to see how it turned out. I felt it was important to capture this feeling, or relief or mild happiness that I felt, as in this reality, we are not with child, and I am still doubtful of parenting.
The scene returns again. I told her, the woman whom I befriended then, that I could use a friend. With Liam gone (and in the dream, I have no memories of my daughter as I am a time traveller with my current consciousness), there was nobody. Apparently, I was isolated as no friends made it into the dream (not their presence nor automated thoughts or recall of them).
She said, "I don't do friends", implying that her relationships with women were of a sexual nature. I remember giving it a thought, to how a woman could pleasure me in bed (something that I hadn't considered as I am very much only into males). Would I attempt this just so that I could have a friend if there was no one else?, was in my thought process.
End
It was at this very exact moment that I woke up immediately. It felt really strange. I was wide awake and conscious in the alternate universe as myself. And it felt like I had been ejected, like a CD Drive, into my current body, in this current reality. It wasn't the usual process of just waking up. It was really like Michelle Yeoh in her movies, where I got ejected back to this body, where I was just inhabitating the other body earlier in the alternate universe.
Anyway, afterwards I sat on the balcony, writing my thoughts down while Belly happily explored the balcony. Liam came out afterwards to check on me. He sensed something was wrong immediately, and I burst into tears while trying to tell him my dream.
I am not sure how profound all this is. But I wrote it down here, so that, in the future, if I want to come back and read it, there was a record of this dream.
I was horrified and remorseful that I had striked a sick person and chased him out of our house. Someone who is actually ill and had come to perhaps seek refuge or comfort in our house. But I had, without giving him any respite or opportunity, mercilessly drove him out.
This scene ends and I can't recall anything else (not even the aftermath or Liam's reactions).
Scene 2 of the dream
The next consciousness I have in this alternate universe, I am alone. And in the streets. Am I homeless? Oh no, it seems to be so. There was something else I can't recall now, but it seemed to include Popo and Ee Ee. Something I said or did made them cut me off or not continue looking for me. As a result, I was unable to return to Puchong. Unless I knew my way and was able to walk there. And suddenly, stranded on my own without a single personal belonging, I was no one. A no one to nobody. I remembered just wondering around the streets, with had open stores (like in a Rundle Mall, Adelaide layout or those duty free Malaysia shops).
I knew immediately I was in an alternate universe then because of this. I had walked into a tech store (which had a layout similar to an Apple store). I made my way to the display corner and asked the salesperson what was on the counter. The attendent held up a device, that looked like a small remote controller, and I asked "What's that". He or she then exclaimed, it can keep "10 photos and 1 video!". "That's it?", I asked, shocked that that was all. The thumbdrive looking thing could only store 1 video, and that was the emphasis, which the salesperson pitched. And everyone was crowding around, marvelling at it. The price tag was either 7 hundred or 7 thousand. Wasn't sure if we were still using Malaysian currency. Technology, it seemed, had regressed. It was still in its infancy.
Scene 3 of the dream
Now, this is the climax portion of my dream. Knowing now that I am in an alternate universe and somehow either estranged, separated or disowned by my own family, I am entirely alone. I was outside the shop now, when I am conscious of myself, and I had befriended a girl. For some reason, when I dream, I cannot see strangers very well - I only know that there had been a person. The details, such as race, ethnicity, the language they spoke, or the exact words or dialogue, escapes me each time. This time, I remember a female, and spefically, this woman was a lesbian.
This scene was interrupted by the arrival of Elrick. He walked past me, and I recognised him immediately. (It wasn't clear if he came looking for me, or if he happened to just pass by me). Wiithin seconds, I was kneeling down, prostrated (head to the ground), bowing down in apology. (It seemed that this was the first time I am meeting him after the incident).
Wordlessly, he handed me a piece of paper. The paper was folded up. When I opened it, it was Liam's obituary. Liam leaves behind a wife and a daughter. All I remember was that I felt relief. Oh, we had a daughter., went my thoughts. My emotions were relief and maybe a bit of joy. It's like reading the ending of a novel or watching an anime finale to see how it turned out. I felt it was important to capture this feeling, or relief or mild happiness that I felt, as in this reality, we are not with child, and I am still doubtful of parenting.
The scene returns again. I told her, the woman whom I befriended then, that I could use a friend. With Liam gone (and in the dream, I have no memories of my daughter as I am a time traveller with my current consciousness), there was nobody. Apparently, I was isolated as no friends made it into the dream (not their presence nor automated thoughts or recall of them).
She said, "I don't do friends", implying that her relationships with women were of a sexual nature. I remember giving it a thought, to how a woman could pleasure me in bed (something that I hadn't considered as I am very much only into males). Would I attempt this just so that I could have a friend if there was no one else?, was in my thought process.
End
It was at this very exact moment that I woke up immediately. It felt really strange. I was wide awake and conscious in the alternate universe as myself. And it felt like I had been ejected, like a CD Drive, into my current body, in this current reality. It wasn't the usual process of just waking up. It was really like Michelle Yeoh in her movies, where I got ejected back to this body, where I was just inhabitating the other body earlier in the alternate universe.
Anyway, afterwards I sat on the balcony, writing my thoughts down while Belly happily explored the balcony. Liam came out afterwards to check on me. He sensed something was wrong immediately, and I burst into tears while trying to tell him my dream.
I am not sure how profound all this is. But I wrote it down here, so that, in the future, if I want to come back and read it, there was a record of this dream.
