While everyone's happily graduating back home and posting countless photos of their last student memories, I can't help but feel a tinge of homesickness. Especially knowing that my sister still loves me exactly the same way I left home months ago, and how Daddy is man enough to openly show that he cares about me, about all of us kids. Really, his Whatsapp message, that health and happiness and the learning process are more important than results, just makes me want to tear up. I realise that I really miss my family, as I begin to see how we function as a unit. While I hate doing chores, I wouldn't mind cooking and baking for them. It is my utmost pleasure to please and surprise people I love with some recipe I tried that turns out marvelous.
My aversion to mainstreamness and extroverts sometimes makes me end up feeling really lonely, in truth that feeling can never be felt when I am with family. Because instead of depending on them, I know I play an important role, and that I am unconditionally loved and being depended on. Relationship-wise, it's been going strong for 8 months now. While strong isn't necessarily the right word to use, I'd like to think that despite all the rickety-rocks that we stumbled and fell upon, everything seemed to be alright when we picked ourselves up again. The bad thing about me that I've learned about myself is apart from my constant clinginess, I constantly seek validation and easily feel jealousy or loneliness when he is happy or having a blast with other bffs. While acknowledging that fact and also knowing that I can't fix myself up overnight, the lesser I think about it, the better. As with family, I don't need validation at all because they actually need me and love me and what to hear about my opinions, I only recalled being a grudging grumpy cat when they ask me to do too much or things that I don't really like to do, like teaching homework.
Anyway, time is still ticking, I've got two last major essays to work upon for this semester. Talking to strangers here is always a fun experience because you get to ask where they are from, what they are studying, how they find Adelaide etc. Even lecturers are nice to chat to, if it's nothing more than pouring out a bit of your life story. Currently, volunteer experience 1: work experience 0, but I wonder if I would enjoy working in Australia and how that would affect my schedule and my interpersonal relationships. Scheduling time with people doesn't seem to be a major problem, but the idea here is that once you stop seeing people that frequently, the relationship tends to grow cold.
On the other hand, in regards to media, I know my Dad loves Chinese media entertainment and he would actually really like what Michel is doing in the Chinese entertainment site. She is really good, her personality really fits for being a DJ. If I am ever lucky enough to land a job in radio, people will automatically think I'm better suited for an announcer or presenter job, not a DJ, as I am not that talkative, and I don't know how to make funny jokes and be spontaneous, also I probably don't have the charisma. Just being a realist doesn't mean I'm shooting myself down. I think yoga might be too static now, but once I start the course, I will review my opinions again. It has to be something lively that I can do. There has to be something lively and fun that I can do that doesn't involve emotional burnout like acting, deejaying, etc.
Home is where the heart is. There is no moon that is brighter anywhere until you find people that love and cherish you. The people here have been very good, kind and wonderful to me, and I admit that I'm unlikely to find any friends that replicate their fine qualities. But still, eventually, I'm going home, to a place where I belong.
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