1. Relationships with a power imbalance is not healthy and never going to work out for the long run
2. If you deny your true nature, you will hurt yourself and end up hurting others
3. It is never too late to change yourself and reform your attitude towards life, no matter what you have caused or endured in the past
4. It is normal to yearn for acceptance of others, but not at the expense of losing yourself
5. You can't control or bound feelings and people
When it is time to let go, let go. What is the point of holding back someone who doesn't want to be here? You have already lost them the moment they decided to leave.
6. Life is impermanent (even for a God)
When the Cat rejected immortality, it was the right thing to do. When the bonds are broken, signalling that nothing - no promise, no bond - is eternal.
Even if you wrap a string around somebody and dictate how they live, they will still NOT be yours to command and keep. And even if someone is loyal to you, there is no eternity in life, everything passes on, everything dies.
7. You can't tie yourself solely to one identity and let that define every aspect of your life forever because that is the only thing you are familiar with
This point is for Akito - the moment she can accept her new identity once the bonds are broken, she is no longer trapped. For the rest of the zodiac members as well, they need to start anew now that they no longer have an identity to cling onto.
Momiji said it best when he told Akito that he will move forward and carve out his own life- despite knowing that even he no longer knows who he is, and that all his wishes never came true- he would still live bravely and happily.
8. The grass is not always greener on the other side, but be brave enough to explore
9. You can say 'no' to people in power while obeying them and still subtly let them realise there is something wrong with their behaviour
Shigure managed to keep his cool. While he never disobeyed Akito, he has also never bowed down and played puppet to his God, his master. He is cunning and has his own agenda, even making Akito have doubts about him.
10. Learn the share the spotlight with others, even if the affection of ONE person means the world to you, let yourself be selfless enough to give them room to admire others or indulge in others
When Akito's Mom was overly obsessed with her husband and refused to share his love for her (the spotlight) with another being, even if that was her own child. The evil Akito would have never been born if her Mom has accepted her from the beginning.
Being selfish is no way to treat anyone, and treating anyone as a 'posession' to 'hoard' is all wrong, leading to mental health problem (e.g. co-dependence) and creating an unhealthy environment for both the partner and whoever he loves.
11. If you want to leave any form of legacy behind, do it with meaningful everyday memories and cherish the simple things
Being loved by others and leaving a legacy behind is simple. You just have to truly care for others around you and make the most of the small things- those are the moments that people cherish, knowingly or unknowingly. The simple 'Tadaima' and 'Thank you'. The simple act of being a friend in need. E.g. Tohru's friends for having an overnight pyjama party - being in solidarity with her- when she is overwhelmed with the Soma family secrets (the night when she found out Akito was a girl and the reason why Rooster guy can't leave).
E.g. Kagura as a child playing with Kyo as a child- which Kyo appreciates and says 'thank you' because he finally had someone to play with (regardless of whatever Kagura's reason was).
12. Open up your heart to see others who might be suffering if you take the trouble to understand the motives behind their actions
Everything Tohru does to every single character who has difficult struggles in their lives. Some people may look fine now, but they may carry dark secrets or scars that only they can heal once they are ready. Tohru's role is like a Mother- she patiently listens, waits, trusts, and extends her hand of love and acceptance to them repeatedly- again and again- staying with them, acknowledging and accepting them- no matter how they may see her (e.g. as a nuisance). Her persistent, sincere and steadfast kindness eventually finds a way to make them lower their guard just enough for them to take charge and own up to their past/own up to their emotions, until they are ready to make the change within themselves.
13. Sacrifice isn't all loud and self-declaring (ego flashing), it is often done silently, dutifully and invisible behind the scenes. Extreme (in movies/anime only!): You may even have to hurt yourself to sacrifice for another
The Horse zodiac- Rin- embodies this value the best. Everything she does for her partner was not known to anyone but she still risks her own life (and gets tortured in the process I may add). But her resolve for sacrifice is noble, resolute and unwavering. When she was thrown off the balcony, she had no regrets, and when she was locked away in exile, she had no regrets, all she cared about was that her partner was safe and happy. Her only regret was not being able to break the curse earlier/sooner for her lover's sake.
Another example is choosing love over selfishness. An untold sacrifice which is weaved into someone's story permanently but it is not shown or flashed around. The sad story of Hatori - the Seahorse- he chose to erase his fiancée's memory and let her go.
Hatori could not stand watching her guilt and despair (she was psychologically brainwashed by Akito thinking that she is responsible for Hatori's eye injury. Hatori's eye was injured when Akito flew into a rage and lashed out after rejecting their marriage- they came to inform him and seek his blessing).
She goes on living a normal human life (without ever knowing Hatori's existence nor remembering their relationship) and marries someone else. Obviously, Hatori chose her happiness over his- he knew deep down that even though they were together, she was being torn apart and her happiness, their happiness is just not in reality's cards (as Akito has ruined everything). Rather than hanging on to her for his selfish reasons, he let go of everything that was dear to him. So that she could live and smile again, even if that was a world without him.
Sometimes, the most painful decisions have to be made for someone else's happiness. Being selfish will just bring both of you down. And one person's sorrow, guilt (or burden) will just consume the darkness and leave no light in the relationship.
14. Even if someone else can't value you, there is always be another who will value you. The quickest (and easiest) way is to find value in your existence is to help others.
This goes back to the story of Yuki being so tormented by Akito that he begins to fall ill and loses hope and meaning (with Akito asking 'are you going to die now'). Just when he thought he would do the world and everyone else a favour by dissapearing (because 'no one needs me anyway'- a sad by product of Akiko's evil words instilled in his brain), he was wandering endlessly on his verge of death. Here, he sees a missing child Tohru and guides her back to her Mom. The first scene he first sees Tohru's distressed Mom and realised that (without any hint of jealousy/sarcasm) that there are some mothers who value their children after all. When Yuki was guiding Tohru back, he suddenly feels fullfilled and full of purpose because 'she is depending on me right now' - which is baby Tohru following Yuki desperately trying not to get lost/be left behind. Once Yuki has done the deed, he feels a sense of relief, gratitude and happiness all at once seeing the lost child reunite with her Mom. In his head, he thinks, 'So I am not completely hopeless after all. I can do something right. I can make someone's day alright.'.
This important story highlights that you do not wait for redemption and acceptance. You do not put your life on hold to keep waiting, because what if it never comes? At that point, Yuki was still locked up with Akito as the sole person he sees daily - besides some household servants who does not interact with him- and a cold hearted Mother. Yuki uses that chance encounter to turn his life around by MAKING SOMETHING HAPPEN with his own hands, by choosing to TAKE ACTION himself to do a GOOD DEED. If he has indeed truly given up 100%, he could have kept walking, felt jealous and even sadder by seeing another loving parent, or wallow in self pity and self-blame.
Which is why at the end of the anime, Yuki bravely stands up to Akito by saying 'I forgive you too Akito. I do not blame you anymore, in fact I choose to stop blaming you, Mom and even myself. Instead I want to improve day-by-by and look forward to life.'
15. Step out of a loved one's shadow/identity/memories and their expectations in order to move forward with your own decisions and 'be free'. Start a life where you only answer to yourself and be true to your heart's desires.
Tohru and Akito are both holding on to their Mother's and Father's (respectively) identities so tightly that it overshadows who they are in their own personal lives. Once Tohru is able to make peace with her Mom and 'let her go' (understanding that she can welcome new love in her life- Kyo- without disappointing her old love -Mom), she is able to move forward. The anime makes this a very solid point with her letting go of her Mom's hand (and the happiness they had together), and running to embrace her love, Kyo.
For Akito, the weight of her Father's expectations and identity drilled into her at a young age to be a God and a 'special' child, plus the responsibility of being the head of household (male) made her into something which she has known her whole life. Akito has never been able to consider another identity and carry the weight of her legacy until it breaks her mentally and spiritually. While she has made others suffer because she herself is suffering, her redemption only begins once she realises (even if it is through a tiny ray of hope) that all is not lost and that she doesn't have to be this way forever. If she can step out of the shadow, she can be reborn again and lead a new life.
Her self awareness and soul awakening was the turning point for her doomed evil character, which was not doomed in the end after all, despite 'losing' everyone in the zodiac circle. She first begins to accept herself and her new identity before beginning anew while being mature enough to understand that not everyone will forgive her- 'min'na bikkuri shimashi-ta' (everyone was shocked)- and left it at that.
16. When you accept someone into your life as your significant other, you embrace their past, present and future.
When Kyo's curse is broken, he immediately tears off his rosemary bracelet, scattering the beads in every direction. Tohru however picks up the beads one by one and keeps it to remind both herself and Kyo that the Cat was once an identity of Kyo's that he should not be ashamed of.
While you love someone for the person they are right at this moment, loving them also means that you will be open to embrace all the possibilities and choices that they will make in the future. Tohru supports Kyo's decision to relocate to a remote training area and stay with Master, and she takes up the invitation without a second's hesitation, even though it will take her away from her home and the one place where she has loved ones. Her love for Kyo makes her wants to be happy with him anywhere, as long as she can be by her side (soba ni iru).
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