The little details

I’d like to call this ‘People Power’. More accurately, the power to get closer to people. It is actually deceptively simple, so simple that I was surprised I had not discover this sooner.

The secret is in the little details. To remember those little details (which always escapes when you look at the big picture) is the key to bonding. I always warm up considerably when he asks about my little sister (even in passing mention), or joke about my time in Australia (along with my forever enshrined in stone Causasian joke- I was if the impression that Causasian was blond hair blue eyed, thus my karate instructor being black hair and normal eye colour was an Australian and not Causasian.

Anyway, the point is that  I’d you remember little details that someone spoke about at one time, and reiterate it later on, they will honestly appreciate that you remember even the little not-so-crucial things they have once said. This is often the arugument when couples can’t remember the intimate details that their partner have shared and confessed in them. It could be more serious, like forgetting an entire conversation or an incident that happened before, even though it was a long time ago.

One of the reasons why personal diaries are important as they capture not just the memories of that day or period (like a picture can), but all the thoughts, feelings and emotions which will be well forgotten in due time. Just like noting down your own experiences is a precious thing, it is timeless and heartfelt usually when you bestow this favour upon others. They will feel warmer towards you (or at least get a boost of good vibes out of their day) that you remember they once shared or talked with you about (insert conversation/experience here)- their dog, their family, their old lives, their plans, anything along those lines.

Of course, if this method fails (due to own poor memory or the other person’s lack of trust to share/talk with/confide in you), go for Plan B- asking and showing interest. Also quite classic and easy, how was your weekend/your trip etc. Plan C- harder to pull off is to make them feel important and needed- ask for suggestion/recommendation/reference/advice.