Who Am I?

Not a very disciplined person, at this moment. Well, I am supposed to be setting up another blog to do with my Comm and Org readings, but I haven't actually started. But I must say I have a good excuse. Lately, my socializing with friends/acquaintances have been increasing, to the point where it leaves me little extra time to do my assignment. I actually have to make friendship-based choices, obligation-based choices, instead of purely interest-based choices. Lots of tiny conflicts in my heart, but as the saying goes 'no pain, no gain' or 'nothing ventured, nothing gained', the slight depressing feeling that I got yesterday was completely wiped out by the wonderful outcome of today. Or I guess I'm just really lucky that everything turned out so well.

Either way, now I have choices of who I want to hang out with. It's a very complex situation really, to want to make time for your friends, the real friends that you not only care about, but want to hang out with. It's just bizzare that I am way more comfortable, relaxed, chatty/happy when socializing with Anastasia compared to a whole bunch of other Malaysians whom I won't name. I've been growing closer with Anastasia while getting completely out of tune with Cathy. I like Germaine but dislike Kye. Same thing, I'm ok with Serena but I completely don't care about Evelyn. And it's weird when Anastasia starts to get involved with my Malaysian friends. I don't know how I feel about the whole gang (which I don't really feel included in) getting to hang out with her. Just a select few are ok, but not the whole bunch. I really hope things go well, I'll just learn to be more sociable and hopefully get to meet Anastasia's housemates. I'm hoping they're as nice and friendly as her. But sometimes, there is a huge barrier- even when the other person is friendly and nice, I still can't find things to talk about with them. That happens even with the best people, I really like Caryn and SheyWei, but I mean, we just don't have anything to talk about.

I was really glad today that I went to karate on Thursday night. Now I know that I made the right decision, no matter how hard it was. Sometimes doing the right thing doesn't feel right at all during that crucial moment, as my brain will always want to seek solace and find the comfort zone when it comes to doing things.

Which explains what kind of person I really am. This is so accurate and helpful right now. Although now all I really need to think about is my assignment, but I'll get there in the end. So... this is who I am.

• 40%Openness Your low level of openness suggests that you draw your strength from tradition and familiarity. You are down to earth and prefer clear, straightforward direction to abstract or theoretical thinking.I'm very honest. 
• 26%Conscientiousness You like to act immediately on impulse, which can be both effective and fun. Indeed, I am very spontaneous/easy-going and keen to try things.  
• 47%Extraversion Your low level of extraversion suggests you are likely to be more reserved than other people, enjoy time alone and value maintaining strong relationships with a few close friends.True!
• 69%Agreeableness You value getting along with others, so are considerate, friendly, and willing to compromise your interests for the benefit of the group around you. As a result you tend to be very popular busy trying to accomodate everyone.
• 77%Neuroticism You are emotionally reactive and prone to react intensely to events with feelings that linger for some time. This can affect your ability to think clearly or cope with change and stress.True!

• OUTLOOK

  Realist

  Realists like to think they see things the way they really are. But it’s important to remember that everyone sees the world differently. You might tend to keep a level head, and don’t excite easily, but this can leave you susceptible to bouts of gloominess. If you feel yourself moving towards a negative emotional extreme, try looking to other people for fresh perspectives.
• CHARACTER

  Thoughtful

  Thoughtful people have a very giving and sympathetic character and are genuinely interested in and concerned about others. However, they can sometimes lack the persistence to follow through with their good intentions. Luckily, you’re very good at inspiring good feelings and actions in others who can help carry you along too.
• SELF CONTROL

  Reserved

  You may feel a bit conflicted when you’ve been wronged. On the one hand it can affect you deeply to the point of feeling victimized, but on the other you can be scared of saying something about it for fear of upsetting other people. The result is that your anger might be directed inwards, which is very unhealthy. You can’t always be the nice guy.
• COMPOSURE

  Direct

  Direct people can find it hard to resist their urges and impulses. In fact, when they really want something it’s hard for them to keep their desire in check. If you find it all too easy to sacrifice your long-term goals for instant gratification, or wake up with a major headache the next morning, this might be an aspect of your life that would benefit from a bit more concentration.
• TASTE

  Homebody

  You’re very content in your own world, or in the company of a select few other people. People who share this characteristic enjoy simple pleasures in life, and are more likely to look for excitement and adventure in their own heads than by heading out into the wilderness for thrills.
• SOCIABILITY

  Humble

  People with this characteristic tend to be modest and self-effacing – sometimes in the extreme. They enjoy their privacy and their own company, but are also sympathetic to the needs of others. In fact, sometimes they can be too trusting of people, which can lead to them being taken advantage of. If you recognize this trait in yourself, it’s important to have someone you’re sure you can trust looking out for you.
• ACTION

  Laid back

  Laid back people don’t worry too much about big plans and goals. They’re much more likely to keep a fairly clean slate so they’re able to respond to those sudden important jobs that always seem to crop up. You might sometimes lack the motivation to take charge or avoid coming up with new ideas, but you know deep down that putting in the effort will benefit you in the long run.
• ATTITUDE

  Traditional

  People with traditional attitudes rely on their values and beliefs to steer them through life’s problems. This means they have deep and strong connections to family and heritage, and have faith in all that has gone before. As a result they tend not to question the order of things as much as they could. You think things are a certain way for a reason, and you’re happy with that.
• PROCESS

  Drifter

  Drifters tend not to be particularly interested in academic or intellectual challenges, and need a clear idea of incentive, outcome and reward to keep them focused on a task they’re not naturally inclined towards. If this sounds like you sometimes, you could perhaps benefit from some help organising and keeping track of your work.
• RESILIENCE

  Headstrong

  Headstrong people might seem like they’re bulletproof, but deep down they can actually be quite risk averse. As a result, rather than confront difficult situations or worries for fear of what might happen, they might prefer to bury their heads in the sand. This may work in the in the short term, but you know that problems don’t always disappear just by being ignored.

All these are quite true and reflects well on me, but I am always a different person in front of a different person. Towards acquaintances that I don't care much about, I am just polite and disinterested, keeping things to a general view, and towards people who are a bit closer, talking to and treating everyone is different. 

With the trait of star sign Scorpio, I get jealous easily and get gloomy easily, but with the right company, I'm very relaxed, happy and chatty or all smiley. The problem with Scorpio is that we get attached to people easily. I fear putting all the eggs in one basket, but sometimes I value the person so much that I have no choice but to want to get closer to them and put all my trust and friendship in that person.