It is shocking still how men always, ALWAYS judge females by their looks. And somehow, even in the English language, we are referred to as the fairer sex, note: 'fairer'. It literally implies that women have fairer skin than men. Of course, some women have dark skin. I imagine that would make them feel uncomfortable to be addressed as the fairer sex. And today, Michel's story taught me many things.
One, is to be aware of guys. It is very hard to figure out their intention. And it is very easy to fall for anyone who is: a) cute/good-looking/sweet smile b) one who cares for you. For A, he might be a heartbreaker, or already has a girlfriend anyways and just use you either as a fling, someone to cheat on, someone to flirt with. For B, he might just be a regular, normal guy who's really really nice to you for some reason, and you get tricked into thinking you have a chance. The truth is, even though he cares a lot, so much for you, his love is just like a friend or family member. It is a natural instinct for him to care and to protect, he does not think of it romantically, at all.
Which is devastating. See, personally, I'd rather not have a best friend that's a guy. Because with best friends, you tend to share so much, open up and bare yourself, even your insecurities and fears to them. If he is not meant to be with you, I see no point in all that sharing and caring. The love there is obviously true and not superficial, but I am the type of person that goes, either you get it or you don't. There shouldn't be a halfway bridge, otherwise it'd just turn out to be a dissapointing ending. This is not A Lot Like Love, where the guy bestie turn into a love partner. Ok, it needs to be emphasized that the pair started off as a fling/one night stand instead of what we often have in reality- a platonic relationship (which one side secretly in love, but not doing anything about it).
Obviously, it is still very touching to have good friends that you can trust to get you up when you're down. But no, I don't want that person and I don't need that person as my cheerleader, because he is already someone's else boyfriend. Summary- if you can't be mine, I'd rather not have you at all. Maybe as a hi-bye friend (in other words, an acquaintance), but definitely not a close friend.
And being open-minded of course would increase your chances of getting along with all sorts of people, but I don't think it has much to do with getting a boyfriend. I know she was worried about whether she is being too uptight,because usually it's more fun to hang out with people who are chill about anything and are more spontaneous and easy-going instead of having a lot of rules and personal say in things. Maybe that has something to do with being less controlling- I figure that guys don't like to be controlled by a girl who they haven't even considered to start anything with.
Probably at the 'oh I just met you' stage, I would always, always want to create a good impression. Not just about looks, but ok, looks are really more important at this stage. But also, seemingly nervous about talking. Everything, from how my voice sounds, my tone and accent, to what I say and how I say it, and whether or not I'm boring him. THAT is kind of my biggest issue when it comes to dating guys. There is just no one that I can be comfortable hanging out with 24/7. Maybe that has something to do with my introvert nature? Girl friends (well most of them anyway) doesn't give me any reason to rack my brains, instead I become ten times friendlier and always have something to say, or I could just listen and think of a comeback.
Getting back to Michel's point, maybe, just maybe, guys would find you more fun to hang out with if you don't have too many restrictions, e.g. things to consider. But to be fair, I have a relatively short restricted list. No sex. And no casually making-out unless I allow it. Probably my chances aren't going to drop to zero just yet, I am fine with just hanging out and having fun and getting to know each other. Before that, usually I would add 'in a safe environment' to the whole phrase- 'I am fine with just hanging out and having fun and getting to know each other' in a safe environment. But now, I think that the environment itself has nothing to do with being safe or not- it is actually the person- whether you trust him enough or not to be alone with him even though you don't know him well yet. Of course, to be safe, no alcohol involved when there's only 2 person alone. But other than that, I think I am capable of protecting myself and hopefully, not putting wrong judgement and be naive.
Although I don't think I would ever get into that situation, dating a stranger sounds exciting but risky. I would only agree if I know that the person meant me no harm, and of course only if I am comfortable spending time alone with him only. With obviously means that, by that last requirement alone, I would have cut my candidates' numbers into half. There are not many men I am comfortable with chatting!
Oh, and pick-up lines are lame. I don't know why a lot of people find these videos so hilarious. Some of them are really good though- like 'do you know how much a polar bear weighs', 'enough to break the ice'. It is very smart, but I just don't think that you should say anything cheesy like that at all when approaching a girl, even though it sounds really smart and funny. It is still a pick-up line. And of course, pick-up lines don't work because girls hate it when you try to get their attention that way. Maybe just a casual 'hi', and normal chatting would already break the ice. Compliments can be very tricky as you don't want to make it seem like you have your eyes all over her and checked her out like she's an item, something sincere like nice shoes, nice dress would be ok, nothing over the top.
Currently, it is not the end of my quest for romance. I might have to take a long hiatus because there just seems to be no suitable candidates in sight, not even anyone who I get connected with and interested to learn more about me. Although on the bright side, I have gained a friend from karate- Anastacia. She is an Aussie:) She's very nice so far, and I can get her sense of humour thankfully. I have not seen other sides of her yet and have minimal knowledge about her background, but I don't think that's important. Because I can still make friends without knowing too much about them, just getting along well would be all I require for now. Curiosity killed the cat, some said. Better be patient and only time will tell whether we will keep up and progress with karate and our friendship, but at the very least, I'm really happy and thankful to have a partner to train with and attend karate lessons with, so it's not too intimidating and it's easier to partner up with her because she always shows me the correct way without me feeling embarrassed of it.
I still have to decide about next semester. Actually, it would be good to listen to Michel's advice, so that: a) less stress for me! b) I will be taking the exact some subjects as the others (more connection this way because of the same subjects and same assignments, plus it's their last semester!) and c) I can still take the community service learning project in SP2- meaning my work placement experience will be more current in my CV!! not outdated!
The only disadvantage is, Collette might not be happy with me for bailing out, and I still have to fix the lack of 4.5 credit. a) I have to go through winter/summer school and consider the subjects AGAIN b) Dad have to pay more and I have to extend my stay c) graduate slower
Which means, either way, and no matter what, When I graduate I will be 22. The only difference is whether it is at the year end, or mid-year of 2014. Plus, a sad but sure fact is that 2014 will mark my last chance of dating a uni student, as well as my last chance of dating AS a university student (22!) --"
The workplace is going to be so different! T T and I am sure that the people there aren't going to be as nice and friendly as university classmates. Since everybody is in a competitive work environment, would there be less room for friendship and less room for true love? I hope not!!
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