The Happiness Project

Coming across a book the other day, titled "The Happiness Project", a woman felt the need to research and pen down her thoughts and documented research on happiness, and how to achieve more positivity and happiness.

Her findings were quite interesting. And it was all proven. Although I did not purchase the book, I glimpsed a few interesting facts to take note of.

First of all, intimacy between man and woman are perceived differently. A woman feels the most intimate during a face to face conversation, or I call, a heart-to-heart talk. A man however, feels the most intimate when they are in the physical presence of the partner, whether doing a shared or individual activity. For instance, sitting down and watching a movie together is counted as quality time (that may come as a surprise to women because watching something, means not talking, and not talking, to many is a red flag of not communicating, and we all know what not communication leads to.)

SO, the problem it seems, is that we overthink. Overcomplicate. As Avril Lavigne says, 'Why do you have to make it so complicated? See the way you're acting like somebody else makes me so frustrated'. I truly did not realise it! It is so clear, so easy, the way to keep things going, is really, just to keep calm and carry on! I wonder who invented that tagline now, as it makes tremendous sense after all these deep philosophical thinking, it all comes down to a basic need.

It was of course then, truly and awefully surprising when he texted to say that watching Spirited Away without me has got him thinking and missing me. It takes A LOT for a man to show his emotions, his softness, I realise. A lot of the times, he is filled with a strict sense of purpose and discipline, much like my father. He disciplines himself to get what he wants in life, or at least what he thinks he wishes to achieve. The method is straightforward, direct and practical. Just like Nike's slogan, 'Just Do It!'. There is no room for pussies, chickening out, breaking down into pieces, once shattered, you regroup immediately and get up and keep going. Because what's keeping you? Waiting for something to happen, is waiting for nothing to happen. Making opportunities and creating things out of yourself counts more than waiting for miracles to happen.

With that, I find it in my heart to accept him for his passive coldness, his ability to want to focus on the 'right here, right now' things in his life, rather than 'what was here, I wish she was here' mindset. This is a man whose mind is sharper and tougher and does not want to be a product of his generation. He wants to break his limits, achieve impossible things and launch new ideas and concepts. He is a Creator of his own fate. Whom I admire very much. The same reason I admire Ed Sheeran, he makes his own destiny comes true- "selling CDs from my rucksack, aiming for the papers"- he sings.

While I am not yet a Creator, I am an Expressor. I express emotions. I feel happy when I get to be positive, smiling and talking with confidence, passion and positivity. I can also mould myself to become another character or attain another persona, I realise that I have indeed been my own PR person, skilled at saving my own skin and reputation. Unfortunately, this means that I have a little bit of a "Boove" tendency, spinning rather than confronting my problems head on. I spin to get the desired results and work when motivation is present. Guess it's not an entirely bad thing, but I do feel the need to achieve more.

Also, the findings represented that man and woman both feel emotionally better and well supported after interacting with close female friends rather than male friends. Male friends are just for laughs and goofiness I guess? But female friends are nice, warm and caring and easy to talk to, and often we feel more reassured in the company of caring nice women. Hmm, I guess I'll have to relent and give in to this finding, as all my friends are female, thus it could not be helped since the research said both MEN and women find it to be true. Maybe it is true having his female friends, that he could feel more manly or something. Or explore his feminine side or be able to be more goofy. For me, all my women friends are sources of trust, confidants and also seeing them personally striving for their own goals, makes me stand firm on my own feet and become more motivated.