Take it as it comes!

Over and over... the only truth... take it as it comes!

To take things as they come... that will be my greatest lesson of all time. To deal with and accept events as they occur, with a composed state of mind, as opposed to planning for it beforehand.

All my planning has been high energy, low return. High tension, low reward. I am stressed for nothing, it would seem!  

After a complete string of days thinking, planning and brainstorming for a virtual team building activity, it has all come to naught. I really actually put my thinking cells hundred per cent into this one!! Thinking of almost nothing else at night, and binge watching countless videos about ice breaking over Zoom calls and Zoom games to play in large groups. 

My continuous effort was halted once, with some unplanned shenanigan suddenly popping up a week before. And then unclear miscommunication ensues, with no one communicating with each other- much less me! Throw in a goody two-shoes blurry CEO and swamped-to-his-forehead Team Lead and you have total chaos.

The good news out of all this is that- hurray! This won't be part of the KPI, so thank God. And I get to be all Hobbit-up in my actual KPI related TTD. I don't like how HR ruins everything in every single company. They suck out the fun. A non-work related event should be just chill and have fun, instead of harping on company values. 

On a more personal end. I actually received some shockwaves too from my beau! I worked up my courage to tell him to put a sock on it! And painstakingly planned the moment where I would break the unwelcome news, complete with a screencast recording on my iPhone, demonstrating the app. The whole night until 5 A.M., I was researching ovulation and how best to structure my sentences and my thoughts so there won't be an unpleasant air. 

I went back and forth to whether I should confront him over the phone or in person. And I had to set up the scene perfectly for an audio call. Where you can talk and share, and not feel so vulnerable because you are not being stared at. I was nervously explaining how important the 'talk' of the topic was, and giving him the option first to quit and switch to Plan B, and then explaining WHY I would need him to play it safe and be responsible since it's a high risk day that we are meeting. Before I could say the words, he asked me, 'Are you saying that you want me to purchase the said thing?'. I froze and hesitantly said yes and gave all the reasons as to why...(in my head I was going blah blah, blah blah)... and his voice cut through the air. Okay... and that was it!!!! I tried to backpedal and affirm it, and reminded him that he had let it slip before that he loves it al naturale and even to the point about sharing the P.C. with him and what not. Again, he just said it, without a hint of tension at all, 100% relaxed voice, saying that I don't have to worry AT ALL, he would definitely do it without a problem. 

I think I went through so much PREP in my head that it was unbelievable that he approved in mere seconds. I had to press him for details to convince myself he had indeed, said yes, in an easy breezy manner, to which he replied, that HE IS NOT SELFISH LIKE MY EX. And that he had put a sock on it before in his long term previous relationship. The one which is like 6, or 7 years or something. 

The only thing left to be shocked about...was his sudden trip he booked with his mates. I can't help but feel territorial and a tad jealous that HE DIDN'T CONSULT ME... and then I realized that SNAP! This is a BRAND NEW RELATIONSHIP where we did NOT have to ask for permission to hang out with our friends... or book trips with our friends... or pretty much anything to do outside the relationship... we can just execute it solo!

I guess I still carried over that 'culture' where it's you and me first, friends and family last, from the previous relationship. That I felt hurt that when the SOPs are relaxed, I wasn't the FIRST person on his mind to travel with. Not that he is a planner. His friends asked him to come along. And he said yes. PROBABLY in the same manner he said yes to my lengthy request. 

The only other tripper is when he forgot or made my birthday a month earlier. At least he got the date 8th correct  =.= But since we haven't celebrated before, I will remind him that my birthday is a month ahead of his. I get to celebrate before he gets to celebrate. And that's that. 

So in the end. It was no use stressing out about my ovulation, the responsible 'talk' which felt like a deal breaker... because he said yes. Swift like the wind. And it was no use stressing out about my image in the company with the stupid games that got cancelled because of some idiotic HR or management. Who doesn't understand playtime means playtime. 

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING IS REAL. And time to put an end to it!!